86 In Faith

When Things Change

Sometimes interfaith life can seem like we’re Sisyphus, where each time we think we’ve figured it out the boulder comes back down and we’re trying to figure it out again.  We went from not caring about organized religions, to an almost Jewish couple, to decidedly interfaith leaning Jewish.

It’s been the leaning Jewish part that’s been a struggle.

You see, there’s a ton of interfaith websites out there to support you if you’ve chosen to practice Judaism. Interfaith resources where we are, despite an expansive Jewish community have proven to be hard to find. It seems like if you’re near a big city it’s easier to find interfaith communities. Even something like Honeymoon Israel  which offers couples where at least one partner is Jewish a chance to explore Israel only runs out of certain cities.  Since the goal is community building you have to live in those cities to go. (I’m hoping one will come to our area before we hit our five year anniversary!)

Our interfaith learning has been a lot of internet reading and a lot of talking to people who have been there.

The best piece of advice I got heading into an interfaith marriage was to have the discussion about who you in your faith early and as that evolves keep having that conversation. Since who you are at 19 isn’t the same as who are you are at 26 it’ll change. And when major life events happen things change.

It’s ok that those things change. But you have to be open and honest with yourself and your partner.

Bearing those things in mind, I realized I wasn’t happy where we are in our faith. You see it was really, really easy when I was going to convert. We knew where we stood and I felt like I had a home. Right now, I don’t feel like I belong where I started or where I was so even though I have a community, I still feel like I’m searching for a faith home.

Since I was young I’ve loved learning. I think I might have been the only Catholic kid to love CCD (even if the nuns weren’t a fan of my insane amount of questions.) Which is why it was pretty easy to fall into a system where when we decided we’d lean towards Judaism, I ended up studying and learning which in turn lead me learn more about J.

When you’re raised in a religion things end up influencing you as an adult, for better or worse. Service towards others and forgiveness are both huge parts of my life in part because of my Catholic background. I noticed in learning about Judaism his never ending optimism, the ability to always get back up no matter the struggle and a kindness to all he meets were traits that J had learned from growing up Jewish. And I realized that those were the things I loved most about him. I loved Judaism more because I learned it shaped the best parts of the man I married.

J didn’t feel the same about Catholicism. He doesn’t enjoy voracious learning about religions and cultures like I do. But J also met me when I was my angriest at the church and the angriest at G-d. I was probably not the best reflection of faith at that point and time. He didn’t think Catholicism reflected who I was and really had no interest in learning about anything with Christianity let alone Catholicism.

For a while, that was ok. But more than seven years later I’m not who I was in that portion of my life. And suddenly, seven years later I was annoyed at J. Annoyed that I spent four years learning everything about his religion and he never learned about mine. Annoyed that he seemed to have no interest in those things. Annoyed that I felt insignificant in my home. Because while I’m comfortable with my choice of us being heavily involved in Jewish life, I’m not comfortable acting like my years of Catholic education and upbringing didn’t happen. I was kind of annoyed that one wrong comment was going to make me lose it.

So after weeks of refusing to go to Shabbat services with me, J made a comment about a sermon that a significantly older cousin had printed and mailed us — I couldn’t take it anymore. It all came out at once.

In truth, he didn’t realize any of that was important to me. He thought it wasn’t. But he still couldn’t understand why I felt it was disrespectful to never engage in any learning about my heritage. To him, I made the choice to learn about Judaism, he didn’t ask that me. That part is very true, but I didn’t start learning about Judaism because I wanted to be Jewish. I started because I wanted to know more about my partner.

As we change, it’s been hard in our area to find the resources to support what we are and the family we’re becoming. So often interfaith services focus on one religion or, as I once read on a pamphlet, “how to involve you non-Jewish partner practices in Jewish ways.” But by altering other religions’ practices to make them more new Jewish it negates the experiences and the heritage of one person in the relationship. That can foster resentment when you’re feeling second best. In smaller areas communities that are promoting themselves as interfaith need to be better at serving interfaith families as they are, not one part of the family.  Many places offer a “Mother’s Circle” program for women who aren’t Jewish but are raising Jewish children that “allows women to share their experiences, gain support for their efforts and learn about Judaism in a way that enables them to raise a Jewish child.”

That’s a wonderful program that I’m sure I’ll use one day! There should be a safe space for women who are in that position to connect.

But what about a program for Jewish partners to engage in aspects of the faith of their partner? Or one teaches parents how to involve other faith traditions and teaching in their Jewish or interfaith child’s life?

I’m not sure that J will ever want to learn about Catholicism. I’m not sure how big of a part it will play in our future family, we are ever evolving. For now though, he’s opted for asking me questions about how I grew up and researching traditions that we both feel fit who we are. Right now, I’m not sure I want anything else.

You Might Also Like

  • ivermectin 3 mg otc
    February 23, 2022 at 4:07 am

    ivermectin 12 mg for sale

    ivermectin 3 mg otc

  • ivermectin 12 mg for sale
    February 25, 2022 at 4:14 pm

    buy ivermectin 3 mg

    ivermectin 6mg tablets for humans for sale

  • buy ivermectin 3 mg
    March 4, 2022 at 8:33 pm

    buy ivermectin 3mg online

    ivermectin 3mg tablets for human

  • buy ivermectin 6mg for sale
    March 9, 2022 at 12:05 pm

    buy ivermectin 3 mg for humans

    buy ivermectin 12mg online

  • ivermectin 12mg pills
    March 11, 2022 at 1:16 am

    buy ivermectin 12mg

    ivermectin 3 mg otc

  • buy cialis canadian
    March 23, 2022 at 9:59 pm

    coupons for cialis

    cialis for daily use

  • homemade hydroxychloroquine
    March 31, 2022 at 9:35 pm

    how to get hydroxychloroquine online

    hydroxychloroquine buy

  • canada drug pharmacy
    April 3, 2022 at 10:54 am

    legitimate canadian mail order pharmacies https://derkuy.timeblog.net/45076032/key-pieces-of-online-pharmacies

    Appreciate it! Quite a lot of material!

  • swerbus.webgarden.com
    April 3, 2022 at 10:54 am

    tadalafil 20mg https://swerbus.webgarden.com/

    Reliable data. With thanks.

  • gwertvb.mystrikingly.com
    April 5, 2022 at 8:23 am

    cialis tablets https://gwertvb.mystrikingly.com/

    Appreciate it. A lot of info.

  • telegra.phIs-It-Safe-To-Lift-COVID-19-Travel-Bans-04-06
    April 6, 2022 at 11:01 am

    purchasing cialis on the internet https://telegra.ph/Is-It-Safe-To-Lift-COVID-19-Travel-Bans-04-06

    Lovely posts, Regards!

  • cialis from canada
    April 8, 2022 at 11:16 am

    canadian pharmacys https://graph.org/The-Way-To-Get-Health-Care-At-Home-During-COVID-19—Health–Fitness-04-07

    You said it perfectly!

  • canadian pharmacies mail order
    April 9, 2022 at 5:10 am

    prescriptions from canada without https://chubo3.wixsite.com/canadian-pharmacy/post/what-parents-must-find-out-about-kids-and-covid-19

    Kudos! I enjoy it.

  • https://canadian-pharmacies0.yolasite.com/
    April 9, 2022 at 11:46 am

    tadalafil 20 mg https://canadian-pharmacies0.yolasite.com/

    Many thanks! Good information.

  • pharmacy-online.yolasite.com
    April 10, 2022 at 5:03 am

    buy cialis without a doctor’s prescription https://pharmacy-online.yolasite.com/

    You mentioned it wonderfully!

  • kevasw.webgarden.com
    April 11, 2022 at 6:30 am

    generic for cialis https://kevasw.webgarden.com/

    Tips effectively regarded..

  • https://62553dced4718.site123.me/
    April 12, 2022 at 7:36 am

    cialis pills https://62553dced4718.site123.me/

    Thanks. I value this.

  • canadian viagra
    April 14, 2022 at 10:04 am

    Northwest Pharmacy https://site128620615.fo.team/

    Amazing info. Regards.

  • online pharmacy
    April 16, 2022 at 9:03 am

    northwest pharmacies https://625a9a98d5fa7.site123.me/blog/age-dependence-of-healthcare-interventions-for-covid-19-in-ontario-canada

    Amazing many of valuable material!

  • canadian pharmacy online
    April 17, 2022 at 6:33 am

    canadian mail order pharmacies https://selomns.gonevis.com/a-modified-age-structured-sir-model-for-covid-19-type-viruses/

    Cheers. I value it!

  • https://fwervs.gumroad.com/
    April 19, 2022 at 11:32 am

    cialis 20mg https://fwervs.gumroad.com/

    Thank you, An abundance of content!

  • https://trosorin.mystrikingly.com/
    April 19, 2022 at 4:24 pm

    tadalafil without a doctor’s prescription https://trosorin.mystrikingly.com/

    You actually expressed this exceptionally well!

  • buy cialis cheap
    April 20, 2022 at 7:04 am

    cialis pills https://sasnd0.wixsite.com/cialis/post/impotent-victims-can-now-cheer-up-try-generic-tadalafil-men-health

    Awesome info. Thanks a lot!

  • buy tadalafil pills
    April 21, 2022 at 6:11 am

    generic cialis https://626106aa4da69.site123.me/blog/new-step-by-step-roadmap-for-tadalafil-5mg

    Terrific advice. Cheers!

  • generic-cialis-20-mg.yolasite.com
    April 22, 2022 at 8:26 am

    Generic cialis tadalafil https://generic-cialis-20-mg.yolasite.com/

    Amazing lots of excellent material!

  • tadalafil otc
    April 24, 2022 at 2:53 am

    cialis over the counter at walmart

    cialis over the counter at walmart

  • hemuyrt.livejournal.com325.html
    April 25, 2022 at 7:27 pm

    cialis uk https://hemuyrt.livejournal.com/325.html

    Kudos, Great stuff!

  • https://site373681070.fo.team/
    April 26, 2022 at 7:11 am

    medication without a doctors prescription https://site373681070.fo.team/

    Valuable posts. Cheers!

  • https://sehytv.wordpress.com/
    April 26, 2022 at 2:25 pm

    cialis online https://sehytv.wordpress.com/

    Truly loads of awesome material.

  • online pharmacies
    April 27, 2022 at 3:43 pm

    canadian rx world pharmacy https://kerbgsw.mystrikingly.com/

    With thanks! Plenty of write ups.

  • https://kerbiss.wordpress.com/2022/04/27/14/
    April 29, 2022 at 5:52 am

    cialis generic https://kerbiss.wordpress.com/2022/04/27/14/

    You actually expressed it fantastically.

  • https://kertubs.mystrikingly.com/
    May 1, 2022 at 5:52 pm

    medication without a doctors prescription https://kertubs.mystrikingly.com/

    Thanks a lot. Wonderful information!

  • canada viagra
    May 2, 2022 at 1:32 pm

    cialis canadian pharmacy https://canadian-pharmaceuticals-online.yolasite.com/

    You actually revealed this wonderfully!

  • online-pharmacies0.yolasite.com
    May 3, 2022 at 6:29 am

    buy cialis https://online-pharmacies0.yolasite.com/

    Incredible many of valuable tips!

  • canadian rx
    May 4, 2022 at 8:01 am

    legitimate canadian mail order pharmacies https://deiun.flazio.com/

    Many thanks! Quite a lot of information!

  • kertyun.flazio.com
    May 4, 2022 at 4:36 pm

    tadalafil 20 mg https://kertyun.flazio.com/

    You made your point.

  • https://kerntyas.gonevis.com/the-mafia-guide-to-online-pharmacies/
    May 5, 2022 at 6:12 am

    tadalafil 20 mg https://kerntyas.gonevis.com/the-mafia-guide-to-online-pharmacies/

    Very good information, Many thanks.

  • kerbnt.flazio.com
    May 5, 2022 at 12:02 pm

    cialis purchase online without prescription https://kerbnt.flazio.com/

    Whoa loads of excellent advice.

  • http://nanos.jp/jmp?url=http://cialisonlinei.com/
    May 5, 2022 at 6:11 pm

    tadalafil 20 mg http://nanos.jp/jmp?url=http://cialisonlinei.com/

    With thanks, I value this.

  • http://ime.nu/cialisonlinei.com
    May 6, 2022 at 4:45 am

    cialis 5mg prix http://ime.nu/cialisonlinei.com

    Good forum posts, Cheers.

  • can hydroxychloroquine cause hair loss
    May 6, 2022 at 9:11 pm

    hydroxychloroquine reviews

    can you just stop taking hydroxychloroquine

  • kerntyast.flazio.com
    May 7, 2022 at 8:43 am

    buy generic cialis https://kerntyast.flazio.com/

    Thank you, I like it!

  • buy viagra now
    May 7, 2022 at 4:06 pm

    viagra canada https://sekyuna.gonevis.com/three-step-guidelines-for-online-pharmacies/

    Amazing stuff. Thank you.

  • gewrt.usluga.me
    May 8, 2022 at 6:43 am

    cialis https://gewrt.usluga.me/

    You actually revealed that well!

  • pharmacy-online.webflow.io
    May 9, 2022 at 10:01 am

    buy cialis without a doctor’s prescription https://pharmacy-online.webflow.io/

    You said it nicely.!

  • https://canadian-pharmacy.webflow.io/
    May 9, 2022 at 4:42 pm

    tadalafil 10 mg https://canadian-pharmacy.webflow.io/

    Incredible quite a lot of fantastic material!

  • site273035107.fo.team
    May 10, 2022 at 2:49 am

    tadalafil 20 mg https://site273035107.fo.team/

    Lovely data, Regards.

  • https://site656670376.fo.team/
    May 10, 2022 at 11:09 am

    generic for cialis https://site656670376.fo.team/

    Thank you! I like this.

  • https://site561571227.fo.team/
    May 10, 2022 at 9:19 pm

    tadalafil 20 mg https://site561571227.fo.team/

    Appreciate it, A good amount of tips.

  • https://site102906154.fo.team/
    May 11, 2022 at 3:19 am

    tadalafil generic https://site102906154.fo.team/

    You have made your stand pretty nicely!.

  • https://hekluy.ucraft.site/
    May 11, 2022 at 9:21 am

    tadalafil generic https://hekluy.ucraft.site/

    With thanks, Great stuff.

  • kawsear.fwscheckout.com
    May 11, 2022 at 7:54 pm

    cialis prices https://kawsear.fwscheckout.com/

    Amazing loads of awesome tips.

  • https://hertnsd.nethouse.ru/
    May 13, 2022 at 10:14 am

    Cheap cialis https://hertnsd.nethouse.ru/

    Nicely put. Kudos.

  • https://uertbx.livejournal.com/402.html
    May 14, 2022 at 10:10 am

    cialis 5mg https://uertbx.livejournal.com/402.html

    Thank you. I appreciate this.

  • lwerts.livejournal.com276.html
    May 14, 2022 at 4:27 pm

    medication without a doctors prescription https://lwerts.livejournal.com/276.html

    You revealed this fantastically!

  • https://avuiom.sellfy.store/
    May 15, 2022 at 8:33 am

    cialis 20mg https://avuiom.sellfy.store/

    You actually suggested that exceptionally well!

  • https://pharmacies.bigcartel.com/
    May 15, 2022 at 8:32 pm

    Generic cialis tadalafil https://pharmacies.bigcartel.com/

    Many thanks, I appreciate this!

  • https://kwersd.mystrikingly.com/
    May 16, 2022 at 10:00 am

    Cialis tadalafil https://kwersd.mystrikingly.com/

    Lovely content. Regards.

  • canadian viagra
    May 16, 2022 at 3:59 pm

    canadian pharmacies online https://gewsd.estranky.sk/clanky/drugstore-online.html

    Amazing a good deal of terrific data!

  • hydroxychloroquine used for
    May 17, 2022 at 12:01 am

    how to make hydroxychloroquine sulfate


  • canadian pharmacies shipping to usa
    May 17, 2022 at 2:14 am

    canadian pharcharmy online https://kqwsh.wordpress.com/2022/05/16/what-everybody-else-does-when-it-comes-to-online-pharmacies/

    Terrific facts. Thanks a lot.

  • site592154748.fo.team
    May 17, 2022 at 12:26 pm

    buy cialis online http://site592154748.fo.team/

    Nicely put, Kudos.

  • https://lasert.gonevis.com/recommended-canadian-pharmacies-2/
    May 18, 2022 at 5:35 am

    cialis from canada https://lasert.gonevis.com/recommended-canadian-pharmacies-2/

    Incredible lots of very good data!

  • http://aonubs.website2.me/
    May 18, 2022 at 1:44 pm

    cialis pills http://aonubs.website2.me/

    Terrific information. Many thanks!

  • canada online pharmacies
    May 20, 2022 at 10:13 am

    canadian government approved pharmacies https://dkyubn.bizwebs.com/

    Great posts, Thanks a lot.

  • https://asebg.bigcartel.com/canadian-pharmacy
    May 21, 2022 at 3:19 am

    tadalafil without a doctor’s prescription https://asebg.bigcartel.com/canadian-pharmacy

    Lovely posts. Appreciate it.

  • canada pharmacy
    May 23, 2022 at 7:11 am

    canadian pharmacies shipping to usa https://kertvbs.webgarden.com/

    Wow quite a lot of very good information.

  • canadian online pharmacy
    May 23, 2022 at 4:48 pm

    canadian pharmacys https://disvaiza.mystrikingly.com/

    You stated it very well!

  • %d bloggers like this: