We had an exciting time this weekend since it was our first wedding as married people! Plus we got a side trip to the aquarium! It’s meant I’ve been spending a lot of time with my Jewish side. While I love them I think sometimes they forget we’re an interfaith couple. In the past, I would have taken this as a compliment, like I’m passing as the thing I want to be. But after everything we’ve been through I want to…
Sometimes interfaith life can seem like we’re Sisyphus, where each time we think we’ve figured it out the boulder comes back down and we’re trying to figure it out again. We went from not caring about organized religions, to an almost Jewish couple, to decidedly interfaith leaning Jewish. It’s been the leaning Jewish part that’s been a struggle. You see, there’s a ton of interfaith websites out there to support you if you’ve chosen to practice Judaism. Interfaith resources where…
Recently JTA published this article about the Rabbis at B’nai Jeshurun, an influential non-denominational New York City synagogue, deciding they would officiate the weddings of interfaith couples who commit to raising Jewish children and having a Jewish home. On the heels of that announcement, the Jewish Theological Seminary committed themselves to their ban on clergy officiating interfaith marriages. While the B’nai Jeshurun announcement wasn’t perfect by any means and proves we still have a long way to go in supporting…
Every so often our congregation puts together dinners of different parts of the community. They’re always hosted by someone in the community who cooks up an amazing meal and there’s great conversation. Sometimes they’re just for empty nesters, or our TRIBE group of 20’s and 30’s, families with mitzvah kids in the coming year, and sometimes they’re open to all. I love my TRIBE dinners, but there’s something to be said about the open ones. I say this because…
I wrote previously about Finding Our Officiant. It was something that wasn’t with out struggle. Right now I have just 17 days left until I’m married. For a lot of reasons J and I had an engagement that has lasted over two years. And it’s good that we have. It gave us a lot of time to grow not just as a couple but as individuals as well. If it had only been a year I might have rushed into converting…
Today marks the sixth year that J and I have been together. Which is crazy to think about all that has changed in those six years We lived in LA and London (briefly for both of those) We graduated college We started working and settled in one place We bought a house! (That’s a very recent one) We’ve been to more than 30 weddings together all over the globe. Two siblings have gotten married We now have six total…
We have a really, really great home for our faith. If you’re ever looking for an inclusive Jewish community in north central part of Connecticut, I have a great one! We found it months after moving to Connecticut from college. When we first arrived it had two wonderful, shockingly young, Rabbis. The sweetest Cantor and a community that couldn’t be beat. Three years later, there’s been some changes. One of our Rabbis moved on, our Cantor retired. So now our Rabbis…
I’m a big fan of On Being Both, the blog by Susan Katz Miller. it’s helped me feel like my children aren’t going to hate me for choosing not to convert. Which is, shockingly, a real fear I have. I love reading other people’s interfaith stories. It’s amazing how what seems like a similar experience ends up so different for everyone. She wrote a great piece about the phrase intermarriage in Forward. I largely don’t take issue with non-Jew, but I know a…
With the mikvah postponed until our schedules matched I had time to think and I made a bigger decision than to convert. I decided to not finish my conversion. So close to the finish line, so close to finally being the same. Here’s the truth, the wedding suddenly was coming in under a year. And I started to think about all the changes that were expected of me as a wife. And suddenly, changing my last name to his AND changing…
It really happened because of a wedding invitation. It was beautiful. With their Hebrew names printed below their English ones and the script of Ani L’Dodi, v’Dodi Li on the top. I realized something in that. When J and I got married, I’d be taking that opportunity away from him. His childhood rabbi wouldn’t be able to perform the service, he’d never have his Hebrew name on his wedding invitation. And it was because of me. Since we had already found…